Not Quite The Same Guys

In an ESPN report tonight a NASCAR reporter tried to equate Jeff Gordon tying Dale Earnhart's restricted plate victory record at Talledaga with Barry Bonds breaking Babe Ruth's homerun mark at Yankee Stadium. I know they really like their NASCAR down south, but c'mon guys!

Putrid, Putrid, Putrid

It's the only way to describe the recent play of the Minnesota Twins. The Twins were swept this weekend by the Detroit Tigers and were outscored 33-1 in the series. I've heard so many excuses so far this season from Manager Ron Gardenhire, General Manager Terry Ryan and other players that is now clear that the real excuse is that they just aren't a very good ballclub.

It was said today on WCCO radio that Brad Radke and Torii Hunter account for one third of the team's payroll. There is our first problem. Radke has always been overrated, but lately he has proven to not even be a .500 pitcher. Hunter overswings on just about every at bat and so what if he makes a spectacular catch in center field every now and then.

Joe Mauer appears to be a singles hitter, Carlos Silva's sinker is not sinking, Rondell White couldn't hit a pilates ball if it was thrown toward him, Justin Morneau isn't the power hitter we desperately need and no matter how much you rotate Lew Ford and Michael Cuddyer in right field they're both below average major league players.

Needless to say when I go to my first game this week it will be for the hot dog.

I'm Shocked, Shocked!

After Twins and Gopher stadium bills passed through the Minnesota House with relative ease, the two bills have hit somewhat of a hurdle in the senate.

This is by no means surprising. We don't like to make anything easy here in Minnesota when it comes to government. We like to start ensuring the likelihood of a special session being necessary early in the legislative session.

It's Official...

Paula Abdul is on some serious drugs. Tonight on American Idol she not only cried when Idol hopeful Eliot sang, but she then climbed up on her chair and screamed "we loved you" over and over again after Chris sang. One thing is for certain and that is the fact that she is completely biased toward the male singers.

With The 17th Pick In 2006 NFL Draft the Minnesota Vikings Select

Who gives a crap. I am so sick of the all the hype surrounding the NFL draft. This thing has gotten way out of hand. If I hear one more joke about Mel Kiper's hair I might vomit.

Mason = Embaressing

The chowderheads in the University of Minnesota athletic office have stooped to a new all time low. In an attempt to keep Iowa Hawkeye fans from outnumbering Gopher fans at next fall's contest at the Metrodome, the University has outlined several requirements you must meet in order to purchase a ticket.

First off in order to purchase a ticket to the Iowa game you must also purchase a ticket to the North Dakota State game. The price is $65 for the two-game package.

Secondly, until September 5 you can only purchase tickets to the Iowa game if you are a Gopher season ticket holder or if you are a Minnesota resident.

This policy is more embaressing than when Iowa fans took down the Metrodome goalposts and tried to carry them out of the building.

I Am Shocked! Shocked!

Vikings safety Willie Offord was arrested for drunk driving on Highway 394 in Golden Valley at 2:20 in the morning today. I don't think the team has gone a month in several years now without some form of embarresing news.

Former Viking Moe Williams was in court today as jury selection began for Williams' trial related to the sex boat scandal last summer on Lake Minnetonka.

Duke Lacrosse Scandal

Another day and another piece of interesting evidence comes out in the media today. Apparently the victim of the alleged rape was extremely intoxicated when police first approached her. I find it interesting that it took this long for this piece of information to go public.

While I am not prepared to draw any conclusions at this point, I find the whole situation to be very odd. Two weeks ago when the lacrosse team's season was cancelled and their coach resigned, it appeared obvious that a crime was committed by several members of the lacrosse team. Now as we continue to find out more information such as the criminal record of the accuser, things seem more blurry.

One thing is for certain: the folks who were criticizing Duke for not acting quick enough after the intial allegations were made public were flat out wrong. This case is way too complicated for major actions to have been taken weeks ago, much less today.

Redick Wins Wooden Award

Duke's J.J. Redick edged Gonzaga's Adam Morrison for the Wooden Award, given annually to the nation's top men's basketball player. While Redick never won a national championship during his four years at Duke, he sure was fun to watch. I hope he catches on with a good team in the NBA that I can root for.

It's Been Two Whole Days

Since a University of Minnesota women's basketball player has quit the team and ran for the hills. Pam Borton might be in athletic director Joel Maturi's doghouse right now which is right where she belongs. After five players decided to leave the team, next year's starting line-up is looking a little ugly right now.

Twins Fall to 1-3

Another horrendous starting pitching performance, this time by Kyle Lohse, led the Twins to an 11-6 loss to the Cleveland Indians today. No Twins starter has had a solid performance in this first week of the season which isn't a good sign considering pitching is supposed to be this team's strength. Santana is good, but hitters are starting to key in on his change-up. Radke is so overrated it's sickening, Silva is good for 12-14 wins but no more and Lohse is flat out bad. How long before Francisco Liriano gets into the rotation?

Borton Finally Speaks

After a fourth player in the last 11 days announced she will be leaving the U of M women's basketball program, head coach Pam Borton finally exited the deep bunker she has hid under and spoke to Star Tribune reporter Jerry Zgoda.

Hours after it was announced that junior Liz Podominick would quit the team to persue her dreams of going to the 2008 Olympics in the shotput event, Borton tried to address the rubble that is her basketball program.

"Right now we have challenges in our program," Borton told the Star Tribune. "We'll never have a roster that big again. Everybody wants to play, and they're all talented kids. It's impossible to make every single kid happy with playing time."

The quote is interesting because it appears she might be taking a little of the blame for the end of the season debacle by saying she tried to play to many players this season. After a season ending loss to Washington where Borton made several questionable coaching decisions including allowing a seldom used point guard to take a possible game-tying shot, Borton made comments that had some thinking she was blaming junior forward Jamie Broback for the loss. Broback is one of the four players who has announced she will not be back with the team next year.

Betty Crocker Cataglog Calling It Quits

Betty Crocker announced it will be distributing its final catalog this fall and will be closing up shop after that. The story reminds me of one of my favorite movie lines ever:

"We are so lucky to have been raised amongst catalogs." -Parker Posey in Best in Show

Twins Lose Opener

The Twins lost their opener today 6-3 to the Blue Jays as one former Cy Young winner, Roy Halliday, outdueled another Cy Young winner, Johan Santana. The Twins did show some power as Tony Batista and Shannon Stewart both hit four-baggers, but of course nobody was on base.

Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau, the two players who were reportedly going to take the Twins to the promise land last year, went a combined 0-8 in their season debut.

And Isn't It Ironic

Michelle Bachman has a step-sister who is a lesbian. I wonder what that family Christmas dinner is like. In related news, Bachman's defense of marriage amendment was shot down in a senate judiciary committee today.

NCCA Championship Thoughts

A pretty disappointing final four in my opinion. Bad basketball all around. As much as people moan and groan when three number one seeds make it to the final weekend, I'd say this year proves that it probably creates a better final four. I would have loved to have seen a Duke-UConn final.

The country seems to be in love with Florida's Joachim Noah, but I find him to be quite annoying. After a timeout last night he was about to imbound the ball when we winked and blew a kiss to the UCLA cheerleaders. What an arrogant punk. I'll predict right now that he'll be pulled over for drunk driving or accused of sexual assualt within the next three months.

Billy Packer and Jim Nantz must have sensed how boring the game was because they kept trying to make such a huge deal out of the fact that Noah was going to break the championship game record for blocked shots. Four was the previous record. Big deal. The way Packer was talking, you'd think Dimaggio's hit streak was going down or something.

My Mumps, My Mumps, My Mumps

No this isn't a new Black Eyed Peas song. Apparently there is a Mumps outbreak occurring in Iowa. A story in the Star Tribune says that Iowa usually has an average of five cases of the Mumps a year, but that there have been 245 confirmed cases at this point.

Most people are immunized to defend against measles, mumps and ruebella, but it is not uncommon these days for parents to refuse to immunize their children for religious reasons. I have one word for these people: MORONS!