Fred Smoot and His Double-Headed Dildo

Charges were filed today against Viking players Daunte Culpepper, Moe Williams, Fred Smoot and Bryant McKinnie stemming from the sex boat scandal on Lake Minnetonka. The charges detail Culpepper receiving a lap-dance and slapping the bare buttocks of a naked female, Williams receiving a lap-dance and grabbing a breast, McKinnie performing and receiving oral sex and my personal favorite - Fred Smoot manipulating a double-headed dildo into the vaginas of two naked females.

What's most shocking about the charges is that Smoot was actually close enough to another human being in order to maneuver the dildo. His play on the field would signal that he doesn't like human contact.