Your Bank's Conspiracy
Is your bank constantly pressuring you to enroll in a direct deposit program? Many of you probably already have your paychecks directly deposited into your checking or savings accounts, and this is a major conspiracy on the part of banks today. By taking part in direct depositing, it forces you to use your ATM card to obtain cash. And as you know, banks have gone crazy with implementing fees anywhere from two to four dollars each time you use an ATM that isn't one of their machines. Don't fall into the trap! Don't use direct deposit!
Twins Fall Flat On Their Faces
Maybe the forces of a higher power were displeased with the not guilty verdict in the Kirby Puckett case and decided to take it out on the Twins bats this weekend. The mighty Twins were destroyed by the mediocre Toronto Blue Jays in a three game series at Metrodome this weekend. Lets just hope the Blue Jays didn't bring the SARS virus with them to Minneapolis to boot.
The Vikings 6-Step Recovery Program
Everybody has heard of the famous 12-step recovery program. These programs promise to take you from the bare bottom and resurrect you back to the top of the world.
The Vikings haven't quite reached the bottom of the world yet, (insert favorite Bengals or Lions joke here) so all they need is a slimmed down 6-step recovery program in order to return to the promise land.
1. If Mike Tice can somehow get the secondary to look as sharp as that pencil behind his ear, the Vikings would take a huge step in the right direction. It's been at least a decade since the Vikings have had an average secondary, let alone one that can change the outcome of a game. What ever happened to Carl Lee anyways?
2. Time Management For Dummies. If the publisher of this series of books hasn't come out with this one yet they should reconsider. Vikings fans would buy them by the dozens, gift wrap them and deliver them to Tice's doorstep on Christmas.
3. Introduce Red McCombs to the classified ads. NFL teams these days have a coach for everything. Last year Mike Tice made it abundantly clear that the Vikings need to hire a "challenge coach." This coach would be responsible for telling Tice when to throw out the red flag and when not too. Simple enough isn't it?
4. Find a number two receiver. The purple desperately needs someone to line up across the field from Randy Moss. Last year Derrick Alexander had Viking fans longing for the days of Leo Lewis and Jim Gustafson.
5. Get Hovan some friends. If the Vikings don't find someone else to assist Chris Hovan with the pass rush, Hovan's fiery red hair is likely to catch on fire this season. The kid works his butt off, but opponents can afford to triple team him due to the respect they have for the rest of our defensive line.
6. Keep Culpepper healthy. Despite two lackluster seasons in a row, number 11 is this team's future. If for any reason the name "Gus" is uttered over the public address system this season, it will be the sign that the Vikings will be watching the playoffs from their respective homes this winter.
Is your bank constantly pressuring you to enroll in a direct deposit program? Many of you probably already have your paychecks directly deposited into your checking or savings accounts, and this is a major conspiracy on the part of banks today. By taking part in direct depositing, it forces you to use your ATM card to obtain cash. And as you know, banks have gone crazy with implementing fees anywhere from two to four dollars each time you use an ATM that isn't one of their machines. Don't fall into the trap! Don't use direct deposit!
Twins Fall Flat On Their Faces
Maybe the forces of a higher power were displeased with the not guilty verdict in the Kirby Puckett case and decided to take it out on the Twins bats this weekend. The mighty Twins were destroyed by the mediocre Toronto Blue Jays in a three game series at Metrodome this weekend. Lets just hope the Blue Jays didn't bring the SARS virus with them to Minneapolis to boot.
The Vikings 6-Step Recovery Program
Everybody has heard of the famous 12-step recovery program. These programs promise to take you from the bare bottom and resurrect you back to the top of the world.
The Vikings haven't quite reached the bottom of the world yet, (insert favorite Bengals or Lions joke here) so all they need is a slimmed down 6-step recovery program in order to return to the promise land.
1. If Mike Tice can somehow get the secondary to look as sharp as that pencil behind his ear, the Vikings would take a huge step in the right direction. It's been at least a decade since the Vikings have had an average secondary, let alone one that can change the outcome of a game. What ever happened to Carl Lee anyways?
2. Time Management For Dummies. If the publisher of this series of books hasn't come out with this one yet they should reconsider. Vikings fans would buy them by the dozens, gift wrap them and deliver them to Tice's doorstep on Christmas.
3. Introduce Red McCombs to the classified ads. NFL teams these days have a coach for everything. Last year Mike Tice made it abundantly clear that the Vikings need to hire a "challenge coach." This coach would be responsible for telling Tice when to throw out the red flag and when not too. Simple enough isn't it?
4. Find a number two receiver. The purple desperately needs someone to line up across the field from Randy Moss. Last year Derrick Alexander had Viking fans longing for the days of Leo Lewis and Jim Gustafson.
5. Get Hovan some friends. If the Vikings don't find someone else to assist Chris Hovan with the pass rush, Hovan's fiery red hair is likely to catch on fire this season. The kid works his butt off, but opponents can afford to triple team him due to the respect they have for the rest of our defensive line.
6. Keep Culpepper healthy. Despite two lackluster seasons in a row, number 11 is this team's future. If for any reason the name "Gus" is uttered over the public address system this season, it will be the sign that the Vikings will be watching the playoffs from their respective homes this winter.
posted by PulseofMN at 11:21 AM
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